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Feeling Unsettled

28 days to go

Losing three months of training in the hills time to lockdown leaving it all to be packed into six weeks meant that getting fit for 62@62 was always going to be a challenge. Things didn’t go too badly the last four weeks but then the weather changed and snow and high winds have scuppered my plans. I’ve been able to get out a couple of times but not far and not the elevation I need – and the forecast for next week isn’t great either.

I popped out this afternoon to climb a hill knowing the winds were still high and lost count of the number of times I got blown over which just became tedious. It was wet too but I can cope with that but after a few hours of being battered around and making slow progress I started to feel a little unsettled.  I’m way off what I had had hoped to achieve this week.

We all feel unsettled at times and it’s a completely natural thing to feel especially if taking on something new or unfamiliar, like a new job or a training course or a challenge.  We’re very good at doubting our ability and thinking we won’t be up to the task and once this thought train starts it can be difficult to stop it and negative thoughts come thick and fast. We’ve all been there.

That’s where I found myself this afternoon so it was time for another chat with myself.  In its briefest form it went something like this:

“What have I done so far and how has that been?  Quite a lot, it’s been tough but progressive.

How prepared have I felt for previous challenges? I’ve never felt I’ve done enough and never felt ready.

If I’d had the full four and a half months would I be in any better position?  Unknown and with more time I would have trained differently so I can’t comment.

What’s really bothering me? The actual unsettled feeling is the ‘unknown’ as I’ve never done anything as physically hard as this challenge is proving to be but with something like this the outcome is going to be uncertain no matter how much training I do.

OK, I know the only thing we can be certain of in life is uncertainty so I just need to do what I can and see where it takes me” – and that’s all anybody can ask of me.

 

 

Don't let today's doubts become tomorrow's reality - do something today your future self will thank you for